Signs of the Times

• At a towing company-"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
• In a nonsmoking area-"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
• On a Plumbers truck-"We repair what your husband fixed."
• Pizza shop slogan-"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
• At a tire shop in Milwaukee-"Invite us to your blowout."
• At an optometrist's office-"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
• Outside a muffler shop-"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
• In a veterinarian's waiting room-"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
• At a car dealership-"The best way to get back on your feet-miss a car payment."
• On a fence-"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
• At the electric company-"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
• On a taxidermist's window-"We really know our stuff."